Highly Evolved Greed

I have always wanted more. When I was younger, I wanted more stuff: nicer clothes, a better car, a bigger house. I wanted more money, more vacations, and more social capital.

Over the years, my definition of wealth has changed; I no longer view wealth as the attainment of a large bank account balance and massive amounts of stuff. If I’m healthy, if my children are thriving, if I have good people to share my life with, and if my life has a purpose bigger than myself, I would consider myself rich, no matter what my bank statement said.

I still want more, but the things I want more of have changed. Now the things I want more of are time, purpose and meaningful relationships. I want more opportunities to help people, and I want a more generous spirit, so I take advantage of those opportunities. I want to be more of a blessing to more people.

I still want more vacations, but it’s not because I want to sit on a beach drinking pina coladas (although I’m not against doing that occasionally, especially if there is a good book involved). Now I want vacations because I want to see the wonders of nature that God has created and stand in awe of Him. I want to experience new cultures and learn from them. I want to get out of this United States mentality for a little while and remember that while this is a great country, it’s not the only country. I want to share these experiences with my children so that they will have a more global mindset. I want to teach them that life should be more about people and experiences than stuff and that the world is so much bigger than they ever imagined. I want us all to experience the fact that no matter how far from home we are or what part of the world we travel to, God is there; He is not limited to the five-mile radius of our daily lives.

I want more days to spend with the people that I love, and more moments of real intimacy – conversations about meaningful things when we let down our guards and admit our faults, failures, and fears, and we don’t berate each other but offer grace instead. I want more times when I stand still, look around and realize that I am where I belong and this was not an accident; this person didn’t cross my path by mistake. I want to feel that despite my shortcomings, this moment is exactly as it was meant to be.

The thing I want more of the most is the wisdom to know my purpose and the obedience to fulfill it. Because when my time comes to leave this earth, I will not be thinking about the shoes that I didn’t buy or the fancy car that I never drove. I will think about the talents, money and time that I had and I will ask myself, did I make the most of those things? Did others benefit because I had them? And I will regret every bit of them that I wasted.

Standing in awe in Hawley, Pennsylvania.